


Bedtime Stories (3.05)

by ackles_ass_equation



Series: Superghetto [50]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon Related, Dark Fairy Tale Elements, Episode: s03e05 Bedtime Stories, Fairy Tale Curses, Fairy Tale Elements, Fairy Tale Retellings, Screenplay/Script Format
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-11
Updated: 2016-07-11
Packaged: 2018-07-23 00:30:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7459578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ackles_ass_equation/pseuds/ackles_ass_equation
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A lil' hoe trapped up in a cold-ass lil coma by her wicked stepmutha sets off a seriez of murdaz based on tha fairy talez her daddy readz her n' shit. Meanwhile, Sam tries ta git Dean outta his fuckin lil' deal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. NOW

**Author's Note:**

> **Quick Note: The quotations at the beginning are there because during that scene, you can't see who's talking and therefore don't have a name or anything to put there to show who exactly is actually speaking.**

EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE - NIGHT

A cloud covered moon pans ta a funky-ass billboard advertisin tha buildin of freshly smoked up cribs. "ONCE UPON A TIME .... " up in big-ass letters, wit a subtitle: "All cribs was built dis well" Below is descriptionz of "3 & 4 bedroom luxury cribs, 2 & 3 bedroom townhomes, etc. Available dis Spring"

SUBTITLE MAPLE SPRINGS, NEW YORK

Three heavy-set pimps is havin a cold-ass lil conversation up in tha distance.

(in tha distance, faintly)

"Yeah, me like a muthafucka."

"Come on muthafuckas, letz git it together n' shit. Yo ass is on brick."

"Yeah, I know yo, but I-"

"Yo ass is tha brick muthafucka n' I be tha wood muthafucka. Thatz tha way itz always been."

"All I axed I just wanted one of mah thugs ta pick tha color of bricks!"

"Okay, then you know what, itz gotta be you, biatch."

"(inaudible) not mah responsibility!"

Close up on tha three muthafuckas amidst construction shiznit n' supplies. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feel dis!

A growlin sound is heard.

 **KYLE  
** Yo, what tha fuck was that, biatch?

 **EMMETT  
** I don't give a fuck, a thugged-out dawg maybe, biatch?

 **KYLE  
** Thatz a hell of a thugged-out dog.

 **JACK  
** Okay, we gots a cold-ass lil crew comin up in tha morning. Look at dis wood, huh?! Look at it, itz crap! Where'd you order it from, biatch?

 **EMMETT  
** Same place as always.

 **KYLE  
** Shoulda used tha cinder block, like I wanted. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time.

 **JACK  
** Yo ass know what, biatch? Here we go again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Yo ass aint up in charge.

 **KYLE  
** Yo, you a funky-ass bunch of hoes. Look, it comes down ta this, aiiight, biatch? One gust of wind n' tha whole place is gonna blow over playa!

 **EMMETT  
** Yeah, yeah. Whatever n' shit.

Mo' soundz is audible.

 **KYLE  
** Did yo dirty ass hear that, biatch?

 **JACK  
** Hear what, biatch?

KYLE'S BROTHERS strutt off ta a wood podium. KYLE hangs back n' moves up in tha direction of tha noise. KYLE peers round a gangbangin' finger-lickin' digger n' shit. Therez not a god damn thang there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. KYLE shakes his head, literally snortin like a pig.

 **EMMETT  
** Kyle, c'mon letz go.

 **JACK  
** 'Kay playa I be bout ta go warm up tha truck.

KYLE closes on EMMETT. They peep it as JACK is suddenly dragged behind a stack of piping. EMMETT screams n' pulls over a gangbangin' floodlight. Our thugged-out asses hear growlin as tha light falls. Blood sprays up on tha driver’s door of tha truck. KYLE runs.

 **EMMETT  
** JACK!

KYLE hunkers down n' hides behind a stack of concrete blocks.

Somethang jumps up n' attacks EMMETT. Blood sprays across plans all up in tha podium.

KYLE continues ta hide. No sounds. KYLE moves round tha concrete blocks n' sees EMMETT lyin on tha ground, a funky-ass blood pool from his crazy-ass grill yo. He’s dead as fuckin fried chicken. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

KYLE hears tha growlin begin again, n' footsteps, n' turns his head; suttin' attacks KYLE. KYLE screams. Boy it's gettin hot, yes indeed it is.


	2. ACT ONE

EXT yo. HIGHWAY - NIGHT

Crickets chirping.

A bullfrog sits on tha highway. Well shiiiit, it croaks.

Dean’s Impala races along. Well shiiiit, it hits a puddle sprayin wata as tha froggy frog hops outta tha way, just up in time.

  
INT. IMPALA - NIGHT

 **SAM  
** (angry) I don't understand, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Why not, biatch?

 **DEAN  
** Because I holla'd so.

 **SAM  
** We gots tha Colt now!

 **DEAN (Warningly)  
** Sam...

 **SAM  
** We can summon tha Crossroadz Demon,…

They shout over each other’s lyrics, gettin louder each time.

 **DEAN  
** We not summonin anything.

 **SAM  
**...pull tha glock on her, n' force her ta let you outta tha deal!

 **DEAN  
** Us dudes don't even know if that'll work!

 **SAM  
** Well then we'll just blast her playa! If she takes a thugged-out dirt nap then tha deal goes away dawwwwg!

 **DEAN  
** Us dudes don't give a fuck if that'll work either, Sam! All you pitchin me right now be a funky-ass bunch of "ifs" n' "maybes" n' thatz not phat enough, cuz if we screw wit dis deal, you die biaaatch!

 **SAM  
** And if our phat asses don't screw wit it, you die biaaatch!

 **DEAN  
** Sam, enough! I aint goin ta have dis conversation. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

 **SAM  
** Why, cuz you holla'd so, biatch?

 **DEAN  
** YES, BECAUSE I SAID SO!

 **SAM  
** Well you not Dad hommie!

SAM n' DEAN silently stare at each other n' shit.

 **DEAN  
** (fiercely) Fuck dat shiznit yo, but I be tha oldest. (raisin his voice:) And I be bustin whatz dopest fo' realz. And you goin ta let dis go, you KNOW me son, biatch?

SAM n' DEAN stare at each other angrily. SAM turns away n' looks up tha window. Dude looks mad salty but aint sayin anything.

 **DEAN  
** (calmer) Tell me bout tha psychotic killa n' shit. C'mon, Sam, tell me bout tha psychotic killa n' shit.

SAM grabs a paper from his fuckin lap n' readz monotonously.

 **SAM  
** Psychotic killer… rips suckas apart wit brute-like ferocity.

 **DEAN  
** Okay, any mention of his bangin razor sharp teeth or his wild lil' four-inch claws, biatch? Animal eyes, biatch?

 **SAM  
** No. But tha lunar cyclez right. Look, if it aint nuthin but a werewolf our phat asses aint gots long, moonz full dis Fridizzle n' thatz tha last time it chizzlez fo' a month.

 **DEAN  
** Two days, no sweat.

  
EXT yo. HIGHWAY - NIGHT

Impala drives along highway.

INT. KYLE'S HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY

DEAN holdz a gangbangin' fake badge wit his thugged-out lil' photo. DEAN n' SAM close they badges n' return dem ta they suit pockets, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. KYLE lies up in a hospitizzle bed wit bandages n' scrapes.

 **DEAN  
** I be Detectizzle Plant, dis is Detectizzle Page, we wit tha County Sheriffz Department.

 **KYLE  
** Yeah, uh, I've been expectin you, biatch.

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass have, biatch?

 **KYLE  
** All morning. Yo ass is tha sketch artists, right, biatch?

 **SAM  
** (turnin towardz DEAN) ...uh.

 **DEAN  
** Absolutely.

 **SAM  
** (Quietly) Yeah.

 **DEAN  
** Yeah. That is exactly whoz ass mah partner is. Da thangs his schmoooove ass can do wit a pen.... (Laughs)

SAM glares at DEAN.

 **DEAN  
** But listen before we git started on that, I wanted ta ask you, uh, how'd you git away, biatch?

 **KYLE  
** I- I have no idea. I was hiding, n' he found mah dirty ass yo. Dude was comin right fo' me n' then he just ... stopped. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Starin all up in mah grill wit dis blank look fo' realz. And afta dat he just took off hustlin.

 **SAM  
** 'Kay. (sighs) Um, I be goin ta need as much physical detail as you can remember n' shit.

SAM pulls a lil' small-ass notebook n' pen from his thugged-out lil' pocket n' starts sketching.

 **KYLE  
** Uh yeah. Uh, he bout six feet tall...

 **SAM  
** Six Nikes...

 **KYLE  
** Dark afro ...

DEAN peeks at SAM’s sketch.

 **SAM  
** Uhm, what, what tha fuck bout his wild lil' fuckin eyes, what tha fuck color eyes did dat schmoooove muthafucka have, biatch?

 **KYLE  
** Maybe….blue, biatch?

 **SAM  
** Blue, biatch?

 **KYLE  
** Dat shiznit was dark.

 **DEAN  
** Did they seem...

DEAN clears his cold-ass throat.

 **DEAN  
** Uh, animal-ish, biatch?

 **KYLE  
** Excuse me son, biatch?

 **SAM  
** What bout his cold-ass teeth, biatch? Yo ass notice anythang ... strange bout 'em, biatch?

 **KYLE  
** (Shakes head) Fuck dat shit, they was just teeth.

 **SAM  
** Teeth, aiiight.

 **DEAN  
** How tha fuck bout his wild lil' fingernails, biatch?

 **KYLE  
** OK look he- he just a- a aiiight muthafucka, wit aiiight eyes a-a-a-and teeth n' fingernails muthafucka!

 **SAM  
** Look sir, itz all gravy if-

 **KYLE  
** No. No. Those was mah brothers. This muthafucka, he- he capped mah brothers yo. How tha fuck would you feel, biatch?

 **SAM  
** (Pause) Can't imagine anythang worse.

DEAN glances at SAM, nodz minutely.

 **DEAN  
** (Pause) I know dis aint easy as fuck but if you could remember any mo' details... .

 **KYLE  
** Th-there was one mo' thang dat schmoooove muthafucka had a- a tattoo on his thugged-out arm of a cold-ass lil cartoon character n' shit. Umm... it's, uh, itz tha muthafucka whoz chasin tha Roadrunner-

 **DEAN  
** Wile E. Coyote biaaatch!

 **KYLE  
** Yeah, thatz dat shit.

**GARRISON  
** Kyle, biatch?

**KYLE  
** Dr. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Garrison. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

**GARRISON  
** How tha fuck you holdin up, biatch?

**KYLE  
** Okay, thankin bout.

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass is Kylez Doctor, biatch?

**GARRISON  
** Yes, biatch?

DEAN holdz up his badge.

 **DEAN  
** Can I just ask you all dem thangs, biatch?

 **DR GARRISON  
** (Nods) Sure.

DEAN n' DR. GARRISON leave tha room leavin SAM wit KYLE. KYLE points at SAM’s notebook.

 **KYLE  
** Don't I git ta peep it, biatch?

 **SAM  
** Uhh (laughs nervously) yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Uhm, yeah, itz a, you know… work up in progress.

SAM handz his notebook over ta KYLE. On it aint nuthin but a funky-ass badly drawn stick figure of a thugged-out dude, like a cold-ass lil childz drawing.

 **KYLE  
** Hm. It- itz straight-up... huh.

  
EXT. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. STREET - DAY

A bullfrog sits all up in tha forefront. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM n' DEAN strutt, while DEAN looks at SAM’s drawing.

 **DEAN  
** (Laughs) Boy, dis be a piece of, uh, art. Really.

SAM snatches back tha notebook from DEAN.

 **SAM  
** Yeah, like you could've done any mo' betta n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So what tha fuck did tha Doc gotta say bout Kylez brothers, biatch?

 **DEAN  
** Not much, they was D.O.A. all up in tha scene yo. Dude did break off tha lowdown on tha coronerz report.

 **SAM  
** Lemme guess, they hearts was missing.

 **DEAN  
** Nope.

DEAN sighs.

 **DEAN  
** But chunkz of they kidneys, lungs n' intestines.

 **SAM  
** Thatz just gross.

 **DEAN  
** Yeah, also definitely not werewolf behavior. Shiiit, dis aint no joke.

 **SAM  
** So, what, biatch? Demon, biatch? Attacker could've been possessed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

 **DEAN  
** Why would a Demon stop halfway all up in a attack, biatch?

 **SAM  
** I be thinkin that, uh.. Could've... Yeah, I gots nothing.

 **DEAN  
** Me neither n' shit.

 

 

EXT. WOODS - DAY

JULIE n' KEN is hike all up in tha woods. KEN searches his backpack.

 **KEN  
** Man I be starving. Yo, where is all tha Juice Bars, biatch?

 **JULIE  
** Yo ass ate dem all fo' realz. And our slick asses lost.

 **KEN  
** We not lost son! Da path is… right here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho.

KEN n' JULIE strutt on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. At a funky-ass break up in tha trees they suddenly spy a quaint house. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Smoke rises from tha chimney.

 **KEN  
** Look, there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho.

 **JULIE  
** Oh, civilization. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

 **KEN  
** (curtly) Yeah.

 **JULIE  
** Thank Dogg hommie!

JULIE n' KEN strutt toward tha doggy den along a wide path. Da front door opens n' a cold-ass lil cheerful OLD LADY steps up wit a cold-ass lil cane.

 **OLD LADY  
** Is you two bustin aiiight, biatch?

 **KEN  
** Hi! Actually, we're, uh-

 **JULIE  
** Lost.

 **OLD LADY  
** Oh it happens. Da trail gets twisty n' mah doggy den is tha only one left up here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Um, I could point you up in tha right direction yo, but I be afraid it'll take a while ta git back.

KEN spots a pie coolin all up in tha open window. Dude stares at it avidly.

 **OLD LADY  
** Yo ass is straight-up deep tha fuck into tha woods.

 **JULIE  
** Sick work, Ken. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

 **OLD LADY  
** Would you like ta come up in n' rest a funky-ass bit, biatch?

 **KEN  
** Um, yeah.

 **JULIE  
** Thanks yo, but we should head back.

 **KEN  
** Oh come on honey, she offered. (Quietly) Dat hoe a harmless oldschool lady. What could happen? (Winks)

KEN goes inside. JULIE looks unconvinced but tha OLD LADY smilez dopely n' JULIE bigs up.

  
INT. OLD LADY'S HOME - DAY

KEN, JULIE n' tha OLD LADY sit all up in tha kitchen table. KEN smokes pie.

 **OLD LADY  
** (to KEN) Yo ass shizzle you don't want more, biatch?

 **KEN  
** Fuck dat shit, fuck you it's, uh, uhm…

KEN'S stomach growls yo. Dude looks uncomfortable.

 **KEN  
** I be full.

 **JULIE  
** We should go.

 **KEN  
** Mm-hm.

 **JULIE  
** We straight-up can't fuck you enough cause I gots dem finger-lickin' chickens wit tha siz-auce.

KEN gets up from tha table, grabs tha chair n' falls ta tha floor up in pain, gasping.

 **JULIE  
** Ken, biatch?

 **KEN  
** Ju- Julie biaaatch!

JULIE standz up, then doublez over up in pain as well.

 **JULIE  
** Ah! Ah-Ah! Whatz goin on?!

 **KEN  
** Julie biaaatch!

Da OLD LADY blurs up in JULIE’s vision.

 **JULIE  
** Did you, biatch... sticky-icky-icky us, biatch?

Da OLD LADY gets up from tha table n' takes a big-ass carvin knife from tha drainer n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch begins checkin its sharpnizz wit her thumb, smiling. JULIE n' KEN whimper up in tha background.

 **KEN  
** Julie, run!

Da OLD LADY strutts over ta tha pair. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Ken is propped against a padded chair. Shiiit, dis aint no joke.

 **JULIE  
** Stop. Please, you gotta stop.

 **OLD LADY  
** (to KEN) Don't worry. Everythingz fine. Yo ass just hold still now dear. Shiiit, dis aint no joke.

Da OLD LADY slashes at Ken wit tha knife. JULIE gets splattered wit blood n' screams. Boy it's gettin hot, yes indeed it is. Da OLD LADY laughs, chizzlez grip on tha knife n' leisurely stabs KEN repeatedly. JULIE continues screaming.

 **JULIE  
** NO! STOP! STOP! PLEASE STOP! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?! NO!

A lil hoe wit long black afro up in a white dress, red sash n' red headband appears outside tha window, watching. Observing. Da OLD LADY continues ta stab KEN.

 **JULIE  
** NOOOOOO!!!! NOOOOOO!!!


	3. ACT TWO

INT yo. HOSPITAL NURSES STATION - DAY

Hospitizzle activitizzle round a nurses' station. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM n' DEAN, up in suits, approach tha station. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Two Sheriffz deputizzles exit a patientz room. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM n' DEAN hastily alta course n' focus on a set of flowers on tha counter.

Da deputizzles pass by. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM n' DEAN turn n' continue down tha corridor ta tha room where tha deputizzles exited. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time.

 

 

INT. JULIE'S HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY

 **JULIE  
** Please,. Biiiatch please.

**GARRISON  
** Shh. Yo, we need ta observe you while tha sticky-icky-ickys still might be up in yo' system.

**JULIE  
** (pleadin tearfully) I have ta bounce tha fuck out. I have thangs ta do, arrangements I need ta make biaaatch!

**GARRISON  
** It can wait. Now you need ta rest. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Stay. I be bout ta be back up in all dem minutes.

GARRISON strutts toward SAM n' DEAN, whoz ass is standin up in tha doorway.

**GARRISON  
** (sighs) Detectives.

**DEAN  
** Dr. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Garrison. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

**GARRISON  
** What tha hell is goin on here, biatch? My fuckin whole hood is goin insane.

**SAM  
** We bout ta let you know as soon as our phat asses do.

GARRISON leaves. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM n' DEAN move tha fuck into tha room.

 **DEAN  
** Miss Watson, biatch? Yo! Us playas just need ta ask you all dem thangs.

DEAN n' SAM produce they badges.

 **JULIE  
** Do we gotta go over dis again, biatch? Now, biatch?

 **SAM  
** We bout ta try ta be brief. Miss Watson, can you tell our asses how tha fuck you gots away, biatch?

JULIE nods.

 **JULIE  
** I didn't smoke as much as Ken did, so I wasn't as outta it fo' realz. And, when tha oldschool biatch was... carvin up Ken, I shoved her, n' she fell. Cracked her head on tha stove. (pause) Dat hoe dead, right, biatch? I- I capped her, biatch?

 **DEAN  
** D'you have any scam why she'd do dis ta yo slick ass, biatch?

 **JULIE  
** No! One minute dat biiiiatch was a thugged-out dope oldschool lady n' tha next dat biiiiatch was, like, a monsta n' shit.

 **SAM  
** Yo ass betta remember anythang else, biatch?

 **JULIE  
** Um, yeah. (sniffs) Did yo dirty ass find a lil hoe there, by any chance, biatch?

 **SAM  
** A ... lil girl, biatch? At tha house, biatch?

 **JULIE  
** I thought I saw her outside tha window. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. She, she just disappeared. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Just vanished, tha fuck into thin air. Shiiit, dis aint no joke.

SAM n' DEAN peep each other.

 **JULIE  
** It m-must've been tha sticky-icky-ickys.

 **DEAN  
** This disappearin hoe- what, what'd what tha fuck did she look like, biatch?

 **JULIE  
** Do it matter, biatch?

 **SAM  
** Yes yes y'all. Every detail matters.

 **JULIE  
** (Sighs) Bitch had dis dark, dark afro n' straight-up pale skin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Biatch was round eight. Biatch was a funky-ass dope child. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! It was... odd ta peep her up in tha middle of suttin' so horrible.

 

 

EXT. OLD LADY'S HOME - DAY

Da Impala is parked outside.

 **DEAN  
** (voice-over) Well, there be a no sulfur anywhere, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. How tha fuck bout tha EMF, biatch?

 

 

INT. OLD LADY'S HOME - DAY

 **SAM  
** Yeah, itz goin nuts, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. When I went over here by tha window .... Therez definitely a spirit here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho.

 **DEAN  
** Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck stood outside tha crime scene n' watched. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

 **SAM  
** Looks like.

 **DEAN  
** What tha hell do you make of that, biatch?

 **SAM  
** Actually I do gotz a theory. Uh, sort of.

 **DEAN  
** Hit mah dirty ass.

 **SAM  
** Well, thinkin’ bout fairy tales.

 **DEAN  
** Oh thatz- thatz sick. Yo ass be thinkin bout fairy talez often, biatch?

 **SAM**  
Fuck dat shit, Dean, I be poppin' off bout tha murders. A muthafucka n' a girl, biatch? Hikin all up in tha woods, a oldschool lady tries ta smoke 'em, biatch? Thatz Hansel n' Gretel.   
And then we gots three brothers, jumpin off bout some shiznit over how tha fuck ta build houses, beat down by tha Big Shiznitty Wolf.

 **DEAN  
** Three Little Pigs.

 **SAM  
** Yeah.

 **DEAN  
** Actually dem muthafuckas was a lil chubby. Well, wait, I thought dem thangs ended with, uh, dem hoes livin happily eva after, biatch?

 **SAM  
** Fuck dat shit, no. Not tha originals. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. See tha Grimm Brothers' shiznit was kinda tha folklore of its day, full of sex, shit, cannibalism. Now, it gots sanitized over tha years, turned tha fuck into Deez'nuts flicks n' bedtime stories. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feel dis!

 **DEAN  
** So you be thinkin tha murdaz is uh, what, biatch? A re-enactment, biatch? Thatz a lil crazy.

 **SAM  
** Crazy-Ass as what, biatch? Every dizzle of our lives, biatch?

 **DEAN  
** Touché. Howz tha creepy pimp hoe involved, biatch?

 **SAM  
** Uhm ... Well, she must've been here fo' a reason. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I be willin ta bet you top dollar dat biiiiatch was all up in tha construction joint like a muthafucka.

 **DEAN  
** We gotta do research now, don't we, biatch?

SAM shrugs. DEAN closes his wild lil' fuckin eyes.

 

 

  
EXT. CUMBERLAND COUNTY CENTRAL LIBRARY - DAY

DEAN exits, not lookin horny.

 **SAM  
** So, biatch?

 **DEAN  
** Checked every last muthafuckin record they had. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Found tha usual amount of violent childhood dirtnaps fo' a hood dis size.

SAM n' DEAN strutt across tha road toward a park.

 **SAM  
** Okay.

 **DEAN  
** Wanna know how tha fuck nuff how tha fuck nuff was lil hoes wit black afro n' pale skin, biatch?

 **SAM  
** Zero.

They enta tha park.

 **DEAN**  
Zero! Yo ass wanna know how tha fuck nuff how tha fuck nuff lil hoes wit black afro n' pale skin dat have gone missing, biatch? Right again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Zip. zilch, nada.  
Tell me you've gots suttin' phat 'cause I've straight-up wasted tha last six hours.

 **SAM  
** (chuffs) Well you eva hear of Lillian Bailey, biatch? Biatch was a British medium from tha 1930s.

 **DEAN  
** Bitch gots a thang fo' fairy tales, biatch?

 **SAM  
** Nah, trances. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. See she'd go tha fuck into these unconscious states where, uhm, git this, her thoughts n' actions was straight-up controlled by spirits, n' you can put dat on yo' toast.

 **DEAN  
** A pimp puppet masta n' shit.

 **SAM  
** Yeah.

 **DEAN  
** Think thatz what tha fuck dis kid is bustin, biatch? Sendin wolfboy n' grandma tha fuck into trances, makin dem go kill-crazy, biatch?

 **SAM  
** Could be. Yo ass know, kinda like uh, uh, spirit hypnotizzle or somethin'.

 **DEAN  
** Trances I git yo, but fairy tale trances, biatch? Thatz bizarre even fo' us.

SAM n' DEAN stop strutting. They look down. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. A bullfrog sits up in they path, croaking.

 **SAM  
** Yeah, you right. Thatz straight-up normal. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack.

Da bullfrog croaks again n' again n' again n' again.

 **DEAN  
** All right, maybe it is fairy tales. Straight-Up messed-up fairy tales. I rap one thang, there be a no way I be humpin' a thugged-out damn frog.

 **SAM  
** Hey. Peep dat out.

SAM points ta a doggy den opposite. A pumpkin sits on tha porch.

 **DEAN  
** Yeah, biatch? It aint nuthin but close ta Halloween. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

 **SAM  
** Yo ass remember Cinderella, biatch? With tha pumpkin dat turns tha fuck into a pimp, n' tha mice dat become horses, biatch?

 **DEAN  
** (looks at SAM) Dude, could you be mo' gay, biatch?

SAM looks at DEAN, nonplussed; his jaw works speechlessly fo' a moment.

 **DEAN  
** Don't answer dis shit.

  
INT. PUMPKIN HOUSE - DAY

DEAN picks tha lock n' SAM opens tha door; they both enter n' shit.

 **DEAN  
** Well whoz ass knows, maybe you gonna find yo' fairy godmother, biatch?

SAM looks annoyed n' DEAN smirks.

They split up n' begin ta search tha house. They hear a noise n' both draw they guns. DEAN closes tha front door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. They continue ta search.

At another noise, DEAN motions fo' SAM ta head toward dat shit. DEAN bigs up.

 **FEMALE VOICE  
** Help I be up in here biaaatch!

 

  
INT. PUMPKIN HOUSE KITCHEN - DAY

 **SAM  
** Yo dawwwwg! Hey.

A teenage GIRL is handcuffed ta tha oven. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

 **SAM  
** It aint nuthin but all gravy. Our thugged-out asses here, our crazy asses here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. We gots you, biatch.

SAM opens his fuckin lock pick kit.

 **GIRL  
** Yo ass gotta help mah dirty ass. Dat hoe a lunatic.

 **DEAN  
** What happened, biatch?

 **GIRL  
** My fuckin step mom, she just freaked out, screamed at me, beat mah dirty ass. Chained mah crazy ass up.

 **SAM  
** Where is she now, biatch?

 **GIRL  
** I don't give a gangbangin' fuck.

DEAN looks all up in tha kitchen door n' spots tha lil dark-haired hoe peekin out.

 **DEAN  
** Sam.

SAM looks up n' sees her as well.

Da lil hoe turns away. DEAN bigs up her n' shiznit yo. Dude strutts all up in tha doggy den ta tha entryway n' sees tha lil hoe standin up in tha livin room. Biatch strutts outta sight.

 

  
INT. PUMPKIN HOUSE KITCHEN - DAY

DEAN entas tha livin room, looks around yo, but tha hoe is gone. DEAN pauses, then turns around. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da lil hoe has reappeared. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

 **DEAN  
** Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck is yo slick ass, biatch?

Da lil hoe is silent. Biatch flickers n' vanishes. DEAN, surprised, looks down at a red apple on tha rug. Dude picks up tha apple, frustrated. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time.


	4. ACT THREE

  1. EXT. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. STREET - DAY



DEAN sits on tha hood of tha Impala, playin wit tha apple. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM approaches.

 **SAM  
** Paramedics picked up Cinderella.

 **DEAN  
** Thatz good. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg!

 **SAM  
** Yeah.

DEAN tosses tha apple ta SAM.

 **DEAN  
** So... Little girl, shiny red apple. I be guessin dat means suttin' ta you, fairy tale boy, biatch?

 **SAM  
** I be thinkin itz Snow White.

 **DEAN  
** Snow White, biatch? Ah I saw dat porno. Or tha porn version anyway, 'cause there was dis wicked Stepmother, biatch? Woo, dat biiiiatch was wicked. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! (Grins)

 **SAM  
** There be a wicked Stepmutha n' shiznit fo' realz. And dat dunkadelic hoe tries ta bust a cap up in Snow White wit a poison apple.

 **DEAN  
** But tha apple don't straight-up bust a cap up in tha girl, right, biatch?

 **SAM  
** No. Puts her tha fuck into a thugged-out deep chill, so deep itz almost like her dope ass dead as fuckin fried chicken. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

SAM tosses tha apple back ta DEAN. They both git tha fuck into tha Impala.

 

 

INT yo. HOSPITAL - DAY

 **NURSE  
** Fuck dat shit, sorry bout dat bullshit. Us dudes aint gots any comatose lil hoes.

 **SAM  
** Yo ass sure, biatch?

 **NURSE  
** Totally. It aint nuthin but mostly oldschool muthafuckas. And, well... Callie. Dat hoe been round since before I started here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho.

 **DEAN  
** Callie, biatch?

 **NURSE  
** Yeah, itz so sad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! And skanky Dr. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Garrison, he just ... won't give up on her n' shit.

 **SAM  
** Is Callie one of his thugged-out lil' patients, biatch?

 **NURSE  
** No yo. His daughter n' shit.

 

 

INT. CALLIE'S HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY

GARRISON sits at CALLIEz bedside, glasses perched on his nose, readin ta her from  _Da Complete Works n' Talez of Da Brothers Grimm_ . CALLIE be a lil' adult biatch, wit long, straight dark hair, lyin straight-up motionlessly on tha bed wit monitorin shit.

**GARRISON  
** Ah, here we are. "'Just press tha latch,' called up tha Grandmutha n' shit. 'I be too weak ta git up.'"

 

 

EXT. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SUPERMARKET PARKING LOT - DAY

A GRANDMOTHER holdz two full grocery bags up in her arms, crossin tha lot n' headin toward her car. Shiiit, dis aint no joke.

**GARRISON  
** (voice over) "Da Wolf pressed tha latch, n' tha door opened. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude stepped inside, went straight ta tha Grandmother, n' ate her up."

Da GRANDMOTHER opens tha door wit her remote key when a tall, dark MAN appears, catchin a gangbangin' fallin bag.

 **GRANDMOTHER  
** Oh! Nuff props all muthafuckin day. It make me wanna hollar playa!

Da MAN puts tha bag on tha back seat n' smilez all up in tha GRANDMOTHER. Da GRANDMOTHER puts tha other bag on tha seat. Da MAN shoves her up in tha van n' attacks her, hittin n' punchin wildly yo. His Wile E. Coyote tattoo flashes on his thugged-out arm.

Da lil hoe up in white watches from a gangbangin' finger-lickin' distizzle fo' realz. Afta another blow, tha MAN moves tha fuck into tha driverz seat n' drives outta tha parkin lot as tha lil hoe observes.

 

 

INT yo. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR - DAY

SAM n' DEAN arrive at Callie Garrisonz room. They stop outside tha doorway. They peep it as DR. GARRISON readz ta Callie.

 

 

INT. CALLIE'S HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY

**GARRISON  
** "...and tha Huntsman stepped inside, n' up in tha bed lay tha Wolf. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So tha Huntsman took a pair of scissors n' cut open tha Wolfz belly."

SAM n' DEAN glizzle at each other n' shit. DR. GARRISON notices dem wild-ass muthafuckas yo. Dude puts down tha book, gets up n' strutts ta SAM n' DEAN.

**GARRISON  
** (Clears throat) Detectives. Can I help yo slick ass, biatch?

**DEAN  
** Us playas just... heard dat Callie is yo' daughter n' shit.

 **SAM  
** And we wanted ta say how tha fuck straight-up sorry we are.

**GARRISON  
** (Nods) Well, uh. Nuff props, biatch. If you gonna excuse mah dirty ass.

 

 

INT yo. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR - DAY

 **DEAN  
** Oh, headin dis way, biatch? We bout ta strutt wit you, biatch yo. How tha fuck longz Callie been like that, biatch?

 **SAM  
** Us dudes don't mean ta intrude. We can't possibly KNOW how tha fuck hard it must be fo' you seein her like all dis bullshit.

 **GARRISON  
** It aint nuthin but not easy as fuck . Dat hoe uh, been here since dat biiiiatch was eight muthafuckin years old. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

 **SAM  
** Thatz when dat biiiiatch was poisoned, biatch?

 **GARRISON  
** Yeah. Swallowed, uh, bleach. Never figured up how tha fuck she gots her handz on tha bottle. My fuckin hoe found her, uh, brought her ta tha ER here n' I was on call.

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass is hoe was uh, was dat Calliez stepmother, biatch?

GARRISON stops struttin n' looks at DEAN.

**GARRISON  
** Actually, yes yo. How'd you know that, biatch?

**DEAN  
** (Shrugs) Lucky guess.

 **GARRISON  
** Well, Julie was tha only mutha dat uh, Callie eva knew. My fuckin hoe took a dirt nap last year and, uh ... itz just mah daughta n' mah crazy ass now, nahmeean, biatch? (pause) Dat hoe all I've gots left. (Pause) Uhm, excuse mah dirty ass. I've gotta git back ta work.

 **DEAN  
** Yeah.

GARRISON strutts away. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM n' DEAN share another look.

 

 

SAM n' DEAN is struttin down tha hall up in tha hospitizzle. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack.

 **DEAN  
** Well you right. It aint nuthin but Snow White up in spades.

 **SAM  
** Yep. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Step-mom poisons tha girl, puts her tha fuck into a thugged-out deep chill. Whatz tha motizzle you think, biatch?

 **DEAN  
** Could be like Mischa Barton. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. (off SAMz look of mad drama) "Sixth Sense" not tha O.C.

 **SAM  
** (even mo' confused) What, biatch?

 **DEAN  
** Yo, you know fairy tales, I know pornos. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch played tha pasty pimp. Yo ass know the, uh, remember tha momma had dat thang you know, where you keep tha kid sick so you git all tha attention, biatch?

 **SAM  
** Oh yeah yeah yeah, uh, Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy yo. Huh, could be.

 **DEAN  
** So say all these years, Calliez been sufferin silently cuz no muthafucka knows tha real deal bout what tha fuck mommy dearest did, biatch?

INT yo. HOSPITAL RECEPTION - DAY They strutt tha fuck into tha reception area of tha hospitizzle. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack.

 **SAM  
** And afta all dis time her spirit just gets angrier n' angrier, until it finally just starts lashin out.

 **DEAN  
** Right. Meanwhile dat freaky freaky biatch has ta dig Dad tell her these deranged stories on some rabid wolf or a cold-ass lil cannibalistic oldschool lady. It aint nuthin but enough ta drive anybody nuts, n' you can put dat on yo' toast.

 **SAM  
** OK yo, but how tha fuck is we gonna stop her, I mean Calliez stuck here, her fatherz keepin her body kickin dat shit, yo.

 **DEAN  
** It do make it a lil' bit hard ta burn tha bones.

 **SAM  
** Yo ass think, biatch?

 **EMT 1  
** Comin in!

Da emergency doors open n' SAM n' DEAN peep it as EMTs brang up in tha GRANDMOTHER on a stretcher n' shit.

 **DOCTOR  
** OK, whatz her status, biatch?

 **EMT 2  
** Seventy-two year oldschool female, sustained multiple lacerations n' puncture wounds. BP is eighty over forty n' falling. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sinus tachycardia.

 

 

INT yo. HOSPITAL ER - DAY

 **DOCTOR  
** Is dat a funky-ass bite, biatch?

 **EMT 2  
** Looks like dat biiiiatch was mauled by a mad dawg or, maybe a wolf, biatch?

 

 

INT yo. HOSPITAL RECEPTION - DAY

SAM n' DEAN is watchin outside tha ER.

 **DEAN  
** What was tha last rap Dr. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Garrison was readin Callie, biatch?

 **SAM  
** Little Red Ridin Hood. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg!

 

 

  
INT yo. HOSPITAL ER - DAY

A cover is thrown over tha GRANDMOTHER. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sam n' DEAN look on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Grimly.

 

 

INT yo. HOSPITAL RECEPTION - DAY

 **SAM  
** Excuse mah dirty ass.

SAM n' DEAN show they badges ta EMT 2.

 **SAM  
** Was dat dunkadelic hoe tha only victim, biatch?

 **EMT 2  
** Bitch was found by tha side of tha road, barely kickin it fo' realz. Alone.

 **DEAN  
** We need ta find her next of kin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

 **EMT 2  
** (looks all up in tha paperwork) Bitch has a granddaughter n' shit.

 **DEAN  
** Do you have a address, biatch?

EMT 2 handz a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shizzle of paper ta DEAN.

 **DEAN  
** Nuff props, biatch.

 **SAM  
** Thanks.

 

 

INT yo. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR - DAY

 **DEAN  
** Yo, you find a way ta stop Callie, all right, biatch?

 **SAM  
** What bout yo slick ass, biatch?

 **DEAN  
** I'ma go stop tha Big Shiznitty Wolf. (Pause) Which is tha weirdest thang I've eva holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

DEAN strutts way. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM stares afta his muthafuckin ass.

 

 

EXT. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SCHOOL - DAY

A LITTLE GIRL strutts outta tha school n' onto tha sidewalk. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch is dressed up in a red hoodie. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch smilez when her big-ass booty spots a mini-van she recognizes. Da LITTLE GIRL crosses tha road n' gets tha fuck into tha passenger seat.

 **LITTLE GIRL  
** Yo, Grandma.

Da MAN whoz ass beat down tha LITTLE GIRL'S GRANDMOTHER turns up in tha driverz seat n' growls all up in tha LITTLE GIRL, lockin tha doors as da ruffneck do so. Da LITTLE GIRL gasps n' tries ta git out. Da MAN starts up tha hoopty n' drives off down tha street.


	5. ACT FOUR

INT yo. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR - DAY

SAM is searchin tha corridors, lookin fo' DR. GARRISON, when da perved-out muthafucka sees his ass ahead. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

 **SAM  
** Dr. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Garrison! I need ta drop a rhyme wit you, biatch.

 **DR GARRISON  
** Detective. What can I do fo' yo slick ass, biatch?

 **SAM  
** Well, uhm ... itz bout Callie.

 **GARRISON  
** My fuckin daughter, biatch? What bout her, biatch?

 **SAM  
** Yo ass know maybe, maybe could we sit tha fuck down fo' a minute, biatch?

 **GARRISON  
** (Annoyed) No. What bout her, biatch?

 **SAM  
** 'Kay. Well um. (Pause) All right, Doctor, dis aint gonna be easy as fuck . What happened ta Callie was not a accident.

 **GARRISON  
** Excuse me son, biatch?

 **SAM  
** I be sorry yo, but itz true.

 **GARRISON  
** Yo ass have no clue what tha fuck happened ta mah daughter n' shit.

GARRISON turns n' strutts away. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM bigs up.

 **SAM  
** There is thangs you don't give a fuck, Doctor, bout yo' hoe.

 **GARRISON  
** My fuckin hoe, biatch?

 **SAM  
** Doctor, yo' hoe poisoned Callie.

GARRISON stop n' turns back ta SAM.

 **DR GARRISON  
** (Pause) Why would you say suttin' so wack ta me son, biatch?

 **SAM  
** Because I need yo' help.

 **GARRISON  
** Yo ass stay away from me, n' from mah daughter, you understand, biatch?

 **SAM  
** Doctor, dis aint... Please, uh-

GARRISON strutts tha fuck into CALLIEz room, shuttin tha door up in SAM'S face. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM sighs, opens tha door, entas n' closes it behind his muthafuckin ass.

 

 

INT. CALLIE'S HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY

 **GARRISON  
** I be callin Security.

GARRISON reaches fo' tha internal phone. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM clamps his hand over it ta stop his muthafuckin ass.

 **SAM  
** Fuck dat shit, listen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I aint gots time ta do dis gently. If you don't dig me mo' playas is goin ta git hurt, cuz Callie is goin ta hurt dem wild-ass muthafuckas.

 **GARRISON  
** What tha hell is you poppin' off about?!

 **SAM  
** Yo ass is gonna be thinkin I be crazy yo, but just KNOW mah dirty ass. Yo crazy-ass daughta Callie is still here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Dat hoe a spirit, n' I aint talkin bout no muthafuckin Jack Daniels neither. Shiiit, dis aint no joke.

GARRISON looks over at Callie sadly yo. Dude sits all up in tha end of her bed, turnin back ta SAM.

 **GARRISON  
** So you've peeped her like a muthafucka.

SAM looks surprised. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

 

 

INT. RED RIDING HOOD HOUSE HALL - DAY

DEAN breaks down tha door n' moves all up in tha house, glock drawn. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Dude crosses tha doorway again n' again n' again n' pushes tha door closed.

INT. RED RIDING HOOD HOUSE LIVING ROOM - DAY

DEAN sees tha LITTLE GIRL up in tha red hoodie bustin up like a biatch up in tha livin room; her grill is smeared wit blood. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! Dude moves ta her n' crouches down.

DEAN Yo ass aiiight, biatch?

 **LITTLE GIRL  
** Yeah-Aaaaahhh!

Da LITTLE GIRL screams. Boy it's gettin hot, yes indeed it is. Da MAN appears n' attacks DEAN, knockin tha glock outta his hand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

DEAN punches tha MAN. Da MAN throws DEAN across tha room against a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dinin table. DEAN moves toward tha MAN yo, but tha MAN throws DEAN over tha table n' tha fuck into a cold-ass lil china cabinet, smashin tha glass. DEAN falls ta tha floor. Shiiit, dis aint no joke.

 

 

INT. CALLIE'S HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY

 **GARRISON  
** I sensed her .... Callie yo. Her presence, her scent. I even saw her standin all up in tha foot of mah bed but I never... (pause) believed it, I thought I was trippin, I-

 **SAM  
** It wasn't a thugged-out dream. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch be lookin like her dope ass did when dat biiiiatch was eight. White dress. Red ribbon up in her hair. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Dat hoe been tryin ta rap ta you, biatch.

 **GARRISON  
** (Sighs) Yo ass aint a cold-ass lil cop is yo slick ass, biatch?

 **SAM  
** No.

 **GARRISON  
** Then whoz ass is yo slick ass, biatch?

 **SAM  
** Someone whoz ass knows a lil bit bout dis kind of thang.

 **GARRISON  
** But what tha fuck you holla'd bout mah hoe poisonin Callie, that's-

 **SAM  
** Sir. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Callie holla'd at us.

 **GARRISON  
** What?!

 **SAM  
** Not up in all kindsa muthafuckin lyrics yo, but up in her own way. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch holla'd at us.

 **GARRISON  
** (Shakes head) My fuckin hoe loved Callie. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So how tha fuck is- how tha fuck is dat possible, biatch?

 **SAM  
** I don't give a gangbangin' fuck. But it is.

 **GARRISON  
** No. No I- I don't believe you, biatch.

 **SAM  
** Look, Callie is cappin' people. Dat hoe mad salty. Dat hoe desperate, cuz no muthafucka will dig her n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So you gotta dig her n' shit. Please, dig yo' daughter n' shit.

 

 

INT. RED RIDING HOOD HOUSE LIVING ROOM - DAY

DEAN n' tha MAN continue ta fight. Calliez spirit looks on, smilin slightly. DEAN grabs a pair of scissors from a nearby knittin basket n' swings all up in tha MAN. DEAN punches tha MAN yo. Dude hits a funky-ass bookshelf n' collapses.

Calliez spirit is suddenly distracted by DR GARRISON'S voice.

 **GARRISON  
** Callie, biatch? Callie, itz Daddy.

Calliez spirit flickers n' disappears from tha room.

 

 

INT. CALLIE'S HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY

 **GARRISON  
** It aint nuthin but me, Daddy. Is it true, biatch? Mommy did dat ta yo slick ass, biatch? I-I know I wasn't listenin before yo, but I be listenin now, nahmeean, biatch? Daddyz here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Please honey, is- is there anyway dat you can tell me son, biatch?

 **SAM  
** Doctor...

GARRISON looks up at SAM, whoz ass nodz toward DR. GARRISON’s side. Calliez spirit standz beside tha bed, lookin fucked up n' forlorn, so check it before ya wreck it. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

 **GARRISON  
** Is it true, biatch?

Calliez spirit nods.

 

 

INT. RED RIDING HOOD HOUSE LIVING ROOM - DAY

Da MAN pushes tha fuck into DEAN n' throws his ass ta tha floor. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. They struggle fo' tha scissors.

 

 

INT. CALLIE'S HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY

 **GARRISON  
** (In tears) Oh- I be soopa-doopa sorry, baby. But dig mah dirty ass. Yo ass gotta stop what tha fuck you bustin, aiiight, biatch? Yo ass is hurtin people. I know every last muthafuckin thang now, nahmeean, biatch? I know tha real deal. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. It aint nuthin but time fo' you ta let go. It aint nuthin but time fo' me ta let you go.

GARRISON turns back ta Calliez body up in tha hospitizzle bed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude caresses her grill n' kisses her forehead tenderly. Calliez monitors BUZZ n' flatline.

SAM looks down, saddened.

 

 

INT. RED RIDING HOOD HOUSE LIVING ROOM - DAY

Da MAN strugglez on top of DEAN. Dean pushes his ass off n' rolls on top of tha MAN. DEAN punches tha MAN yo. Dude raises tha scissors overhead ta plunge dem down tha fuck into tha manz chest.

 **MAN  
** Whoa! Stop, stop! Whoa stop! Whoa! Where be I, biatch? Whatz goin on?!

DEAN lowers tha scissors, exhausted. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time.

 

 

INT. CALLIE'S HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY

GARRISON weeps n' strokes his fuckin lil' daughter’s afro yo. Dude turns yo, but her spirit is gone.


	6. ACT FIVE

INT yo. HOSPITAL NURSES STATION - DAY

SAM n' DEAN stand wit DR. GARRISON up in front of tha nurses station. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

 **GARRISON  
** And tha girlz all gravy, biatch?

DEAN nods.

 **GARRISON  
** (sighing) So. It aint nuthin but straight-up over n' shit.

 **SAM  
** Yeah fo' realz. All props ta you, biatch.

 **GARRISON  
** Callie was da most thugged-out blingin thang up in mah game. But I should've let her go a long-ass time ago.

 **DEAN  
** See ya ‘round, Doc.

**GARRISON  
** (sighs shakily) I shizzle hope not.

  1. GARRISON pats dean on tha shoulder n' strutts away. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM n' DEAN peep his ass go.



**DEAN  
** Yo ass know what tha fuck da perved-out muthafucka holla'd, biatch? Some phat lyrics.

 **SAM  
** Is dat what tha fuck you want me ta do Dean, biatch? Just let you go, biatch?

DEAN don't answer yo, but raises his wild lil' fuckin eyes n' looks at SAM fo' a long-ass moment, then turns ta muthafuckin bounce. SAM watches his ass strutt down tha corridor ridin' solo.

 

 

EXT. MOTEL - NIGHT

Clear sky n' a gangbangin' full moon. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

 

 

INT. MOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

DEAN turns over up in his chill. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM'S bed is messy n' empty. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM picks up a funky-ass backpack from tha bed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude headz fo' tha door, looks back at DEAN briefly before da perved-out muthafucka silently departs, n' you can put dat on yo' toast.

 

 

EXT. CROSSROADS - NIGHT

SAM crouches all up in tha centa of a cold-ass lil crossroadz holdin open box. Exhaling, he addz a photo ID ta tha contents, closes tha box, n' buries it wit his hands.

SAM dusts off his handz n' stands, surveys tha four routez of tha crossroadz fo' realz. As tha pimpin' muthafucka turns his back, a biatch up in a funky-ass black dress, wit red eyes, appears.

 **CROSSROADS DEMON  
** Well. Little Sammy Winchesta n' shit. I be touched. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I mean... yo' brotherz been ta peep me twice yo, but yo slick ass, biatch? I never had tha pleasure.

SAM glares at her n' shit.

 **CROSSROADS DEMON  
** What can I do fo' you, Sam, biatch?

SAM draws tha Colt n' points it all up in tha CROSSROADS DEMON.

 **SAM  
** (smilin tightly) Yo ass can beg fo' yo' game.

 **CROSSROADS DEMON  
** Us thugs was havin such a sick conversation. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Then you had ta go n' fuck up tha vibe. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg!

 **SAM  
** If I was you, I'd drop tha wisecracks n' start actin trippin like a muthafucka.

 **CROSSROADS DEMON  
** (still smiling) It aint nuthin but not mah style. (pauses) Thatz not tha original gangsta Colt. Where did you git that, biatch?

SAM don't answer n' shit.

 **CROSSROADS DEMON  
** Ruby yo. Had ta be. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch is such a pain up in mah ass. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch bout ta fuckin git whatz comin ta her muthafuckin ass... (pause) you can count on dat shit.

 **SAM  
** Thatz enough cause I gots dem finger-lickin' chickens wit tha siz-auce. I came here ta make you a offer n' shit.

 **CROSSROADS DEMON  
** (Incredulous) Yo ass is gonna make ME a offer, biatch? Thatz adorable.

 **SAM  
** Yo ass can let Dean outta his fuckin lil' deal n' aint a thugged-out damn thang dat yo' ass can do yo. Dude lives, I live. Yo ass live. Everyone goes home horny. Or...

Sam cocks tha Colt.

 **SAM  
** Yo ass stop breathing. Permanently.

 **CROSSROADS DEMON  
** Oh. (Laughs) All dis tough talk. I gotta rap , it aint straight-up convincing. I mean, come on Sam. Do you even  _want_  ta break tha deal, biatch?

 **SAM  
** What do you think, biatch?

 **CROSSROADS DEMON  
** I don't give a gangbangin' fuck fo' realz. Aren't you pissed wit cleanin up Deanz messes, biatch? Of dealin wit dat fucked up psyche of his, biatch? Aren't you pissed wit bein bossed round like a snot-nosed lil brother, biatch? Yo ass is stronger than Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Yo ass is betta than his muthafuckin ass.

 **SAM  
** Watch yo' grill.

 **CROSSROADS DEMON  
** Admit dat shit. Yo ass is here, goin all up in tha motions. But truth is … you gonna be a tiny bit relieved when he gone.

 **SAM  
** Shut up.

 **CROSSROADS DEMON  
** No mo' desperate, sloppy, needy Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Yo ass can finally ... be free.

 **SAM  
** I holla'd shut tha fuck up!

 **CROSSROADS DEMON  
** Huh. Doth protest too much if you ask mah dirty ass.

 **SAM  
** All right, I've had enough of yo' crap. Yo ass let Dean outta his fuckin lil' deal n' aint a thugged-out damn thang dat yo' ass can do.

 **CROSSROADS DEMON  
** Sorry dopeheart yo, but yo' brotherz a adult yo. Dude made dat deal of his own free will, fair n' square. It aint nuthin but iron clad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

 **SAM  
** Every deal can be broken. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

 **CROSSROADS DEMON  
** Not dis one.

 **SAM  
** Fine. Then I be bout ta bust a cap up in you, biatch. If you gone, soz tha deal. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack.

 **CROSSROADS DEMON  
** (Laughs) Guess again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

 **SAM  
** What, biatch?

 **CROSSROADS DEMON  
** Sam, I be just a saleswoman. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I gots a funky-ass boss like dem hoes yo. Dude holdz tha contract, not mah dirty ass yo. Dude wants Deanz soul, bad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! And believe mah dirty ass. Dat punk not goin ta let it go.

 **SAM  
** Yo ass is bluffing.

 **CROSSROADS DEMON  
** Am I, biatch? Shoot me, if it'll git you off. But tha deal still holds, n' when Deanz time is up, he gettin dragged tha fuck into tha pit.

 **SAM  
** Then whoz yo' boss, biatch? Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck holdz tha contract, biatch?

 **CROSSROADS DEMON  
** Dat punk not as cuddly as me, I can rap dis shit.

 **SAM  
** Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck is it, biatch?

 **CROSSROADS DEMON  
** I can't rap , biatch. I be sorry as a muthafucka Sam. But there be a no way outta dis one. Not dis time.

SAM looks upset, n' worried. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Then da perved-out muthafucka sighs n' blasts tha CROSSROADS DEMON right between tha eyes. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch goes down wit a groan. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM watches, jaw tightenin wit anxiety.


End file.
